jess in the mundane

I remember,

At 4, routinely waking up to a peculiar melody, birds outside my window chirped.

At 5, bedtime routines. Getting to say goodnight to my mom before bed, and without missing a beat, her reply: “goodnight darling!”

At 6, numerous siestas my siblings and I were rather unsuccessfully forced to take.

At 7, beautiful, yet insanely itchy Sunday-best dresses I was placed in.

At 8, excitedly getting dropped off at children’s church, routinely looking for my best friend, subsequently realizing she’d moved, feeling absolutely devastated and missing her every Sunday after.

At 9, starting a new school, moving to a dorm and being viciously homesick.

At 10, tasting the magnificence that is Cabin Biscuit flakes, and wondering how I had lived a normal life prior.

At 11, feeling slightly embarrassed to smile, because my milk-teeth were still falling out.

At 12, looking forward to long convos, karaoke sessions in empty classrooms, and lunch breaks with my high school best-friend.

At 13, the uncomfortable sting of salty ocean water on my skin.

At 14, regretfully losing my phone at school.

At 15, getting rejected from my first-choice uni.

At 16, failing an exam for the first time.

At 17, a lonely overnight hospital stay.

At 18, sleepovers in friends’ rooms, featuring tons of k-drama.

At 19, graduating uni with classmates and friends.

At 20, being sucker punched with the soul crushing realization of life’s futility.

At 21, being raised to the newness of life in Christ.

At 22, becoming a student again.

At 23, experiencing crippling anxiety hours before a final.

At 24, exhilarating highway rides, & embracing new adventures.

At 25….

As a child I perceived adults as super mature beings, possessing vast knowledge, conveniently activated at 18. They were bigger than me, conclusively smarter and better. I realize now that adults are really just children, with varying degrees of life experience. 

It’s interesting. Our cumulative lived experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant, over time make us, us. Events from past years produce different versions of ourselves, necessary versions, bringing us to right now.

Growing up has taught me many things. Learning to see parents as fallible; see siblings as a grace for life-long friendship; see family as a gift, not a burden; see people as people, not a means to an end. 

It really is interesting, recalling simple memories cherished as a child, when you no longer are one.

Even more simple memories:

• Grade school class photo days.

• Formulating an elaborate “escape from home” plan with my siblings, failing to run adequate feasibility tests, and unsurprisingly making zero progress.

• Staring at patterns printed on drapes, until they morph into weird, funny or scary faces.

• Naively believing all my older brother’s cock-and-bull stories.

• The beauty my mom exuded, and secretly hoping to look like her when I grew older.

• Still being afraid of the dark way into my teen years.

• Fierce table-tennis and WE9 tournaments fought with/against my brothers.

• Prepping intensely for a grade 2 presentation on Cinderella.

• Laughing very hard at my Aunty’s jokes.

• Christmases at my grandparents, and seeing all the cousins.

• Drinking 5-Alive and exuding big-brain energy upon putting two & two together: realizing I was indeed 5-years old and alive. 

• Alas, turning 6 and being unable to locate a 6-Alive Berry Blast in store.

I’ll stop here, lol. Please share in the comments some of your simple childhood memories. God has been incredibly kind and faithful. All Glory goes to Him 🤍

Until next time,

Stay safe, and groovy.

Love,

Jess

“Sometimes things have to be sad before they can be happy”