Greetings! (I have no idea how to do intros anymore for blog posts so please bear with me)
You will most definitely agree with me that this year has been a sort of rollercoaster year. So much has been put on hold and a lot of lives have been affected. But today’s post isn’t about that. I’ll have to make a separate post or series of posts about my life updates and post pandemic life.
Today however, I wanted to share something I found in my notes from earlier in the year. It made me laugh going over it but I guessed that it was worth sharing since I haven’t been putting out much content.
I actually don’t journal (just a quick fyi). It’s really not my style to journal daily or weekly. But once in a while, if I have something really overwhelming on my mind, I put it down. Sometimes in my notes app, sometimes on physical paper. Just depends on how I feel atm
This note/journal entry is from June 2020
“I was having a hard time with a seemingly trivial part of myself. No-one cares about it, but it means a lot to me. Its one of the parts of me that I consider quite beautiful, even now as it weighs on my heart.
It is “my crown”. A most precious one at that. One that I took for granted my entire life. Even neglected and abandoned, and took my anger out on once upon a time. Yet, it is one of my pride and joys. And I have come to love it more, even now. Now, that I see it in its natural state. The way the Lord fashioned it to be.
It fascinates me everyday. The way it shines. The way it grows. The way it curls. It is thick and soft. Sturdy yet slightly delicate. It truly leaves me astonished. Oh how the Lord loved me so, to gift me with such a beauty. One that sits on top for all to see. I am grateful. But at the same time, afraid. Afraid of being unable to care for this gem. Afraid of harming it. Afraid of losing it- not having it gone, but having it hidden. I want it to shine as the Lord intended. But I do not know how.
I have watched countless tips and tricks. Tutorials and techniques. But it seems as though I have learned nothing. Our hair is unique they say. Find your type, your texture, your technique. So many steps, so many rituals. It is so burdensome. It brings me to literal tears every single time. And I don’t know if I can do it anymore.
So I am doing what I know how. Surrendering to the Lord. Yes, even this seemingly trivial part of me qualifies to be lifted up in prayer. Because to Jesus, it is not small. Every strand is coated with his love, every curl with his grace. He wove the very fabric of its bonds while I was yet in my mothers womb. He determined every kink…..”
It stops there. I know, bummer. I didn’t know what to write again, sleep was worrying me (it was past midnight when I wrote this down)
Anyways, this just made me think about what Jesus says in Matthew 6:25. Why are you anxious? It’s so ridiculous getting anxious over hair! But tbh, it’s the little things. The seemingly trivial things that are capable of giving the most headache, or the purest moments of joy.
If you have natural hair then you know the struggles and madness it can bring. My hair legit brought me to tears so many times. But I’m grateful for holy sense that was endowed upon me to bring my mad hair to God. It needed to be tamed. And God indeed did what only He can do.
I’m thinking of sharing my hair journey/story. I recently transitioned from relaxed to natural hair (last year) and it’s been a wild ride. So watch out for hair related posts.
Anyways, see you soon, and stay safe.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:25, 31-33 ESV
Let’s be friends!